Summer at our house means sleep away camp. Well this year both boys are at camp (in two different places). Every time the kids are gone T and I realize that our house is quiet, and we don’t have a whole lot to talk about. Our life right now is our children. Coordinating schedules, homework, feeding them (basically making sure they stay alive!)
But here is the scary thing. When they are gone for that one week and we have the house to ourselves we realize real quick that had better find a way to reconnect because if we don’t in just a few short years our house will be empty permanently and relationships don’t work when you have nothing in common.
NOW is the time to start talking and reconnecting with your spouse.
I have found an awesome blog post by Alex Alexander and I suggest you start on this list of 101 Smart Ways to Improve Your Relationship Right This SECOND
Here are just a few to help get you started:
Listen to each other. Think you already do that? Try active listening. Ask your partner to talk about something and after each sentence (or paragraph) repeat what you heard. Start with, “I heard…” You don’t have to repeat back the words verbatim, just say what you think she said. If you misinterpret or leave out anything, your partner will correct you. Take turns doing this. It’s great for intense discussions, arguments, or just a weekly ritual to improve communication.
Say something positive — anything at all. Researchers have found that happy couples have a ratio of five positive comments to each negative comment.
Apologize for something you never apologized for … even though you knew it was your fault.
Make a special treat. Even if you’re on a diet, there’s always room for a little snack once a week. Maybe it’s a food from her childhood (like the s’mores her dad used to make when they went camping) or something that reminds him of your first date (spicy homemade guacamole? No problem!). A little treat that you’ve either made or just remembered to pick up will show you’re thinking about the two of you.
The next time you hug him, reach around and squeeze his butt. It’s the little things that keep it hot.
Take out his yearbook. Ask about the people in it and what they meant to him.
Remember you are not empty nesters yet!! CONNECT! Let me know which of the 101 you and your spouse like the best!